Return to Zhenlan Temple - Dajia, Taiwan - February 23rd, 2014

 

       My last day in Taiwan was also my return to Zhenlan Temple. Suffice to say, it ended up being just what I needed. The last time I was here it was so crowded and loud I could barely hear myself think...this time, there were people (families) but it was quiet and reflective...honestly one of the reasons I love hiking and being out in nature so much. In the place where there is silence is often the best place to find oneself and how it is connected to others.

    The only sound in the Temple was in the courtyard outside, where a musician played smooth jazz. Not exactly what I was expecting but the guy was talented, and the music mixed with the incense that I bought and used to pay my respects to the Bodhisattvas in the Temple (and Matzu who the Temple is built around) ended up making time feel as if it was slowing down. It was easy to find solace and the silence of the night and the stars, mixed with the silence in the Temple was perfect.

  After my prayers I explored in and around the Temple. I had just come from checking a small box shrine and another temple in town where I'd been thinking about the future, my time in Taiwan and where to go next. The trip wasn't what I expected, but I guess when traveling things rarely are. In the end the most we can do is make the most of the time we have and accept the constant change of life. I don't know when it will be, but I look forward to returning to Taiwan once more.

Saint Mary Catholic Church - Mount Angel, Oregon - July 22nd, 2012

  First want to start out by saying, next time in Oregon I will be visiting other denominations and religions. I'm planning on moving down there eventually so there shall be much exploration of the religious communities down there.

   Now, the visit. Saint Mary's is one of the most beautiful Churches I've ever been in. It reminded me of the Churches and Cathedrals in Italy and had a very calm ambiance. The stained glass windows had the stations of the cross, their were two beautiful images of Mary on the sides of the seat and in the center was the Vatican II Altar as behind it underneath Jesus on the cross was the pre-Vatican II Altar against the wall.

    The place spoke of it's one hundred year history simply in the artifacts that made up the inside of the Church.

    The sermon was about the calling of people to be "Shepards" and used one of the Old Testament Prophets and Jesus when he realized the people needed a Shepard. The thing that stood out to me on the Jesus story was it involved him running away from the people to a different town because he was tired...this surprised me in a big way since I'd always been told God comes to those seeking Him and if Jesus is God he wouldn't run away, since the story sounded as if the people had been seeking him.

   As a counter part this is good on the part of a teacher. Words and messages can only really be fully appreciated and applied when brought beyond the person. Whether it's Buddha or anyone else from philosopher or scientist...it reminds me of a quote my friend told me:

    "Religion is like a boat. It's good to bring you across the river, but once you reach the other side it would be silly to carry it."

    To carry the analogy further one could break the boat and carry the pieces and use them for fire wood later on for the journey on land or to rebuild it later along a different water source. What we read and learn doesn't leave us fully. It shapes us in the moment of reading and in applying it. But it is no longer the person who it was learned from, it isn't the teacher it is something different.

     On the core message of the sermon, we all will be servants and leaders at different points in our lives. It comes with following passions, with applying the knowledge learned and by living virtuously. If religion inspires you to live it more, more power to you...but I'm becoming all the more certain that I won't be joining any religious groups houseboats. Too much of it doesn't make sense to me and doesn't seem to help necessarily with promoting virtue in how we live and treat our fellow men.

Memorial of a Friend - Catholic Newman Center Prince of Peace Chapel - Seattle, WA - June 1st, 2011

      Friends and community. Some of you have probably been wondering why I haven't been updating the blog at all. The reason I haven't is because I've been dealing with the death of a friend who was like a sister to me. It's strange really, while there at her memorial, funeral and burial I did feel that connection to her and something more...at times after that, I've wanted to visit churches and keep up the blog, but then I find I can't go.

        Many times it's because I visit communities where I don't know anybody...I'm a stranger. I don't want to bring my vulnerability to strangers, to put it simply. Another reason is I think, is the issue of God and the afterlife for me. At the core, I think I am quite agnostic, I believe in living in the moment and now and in this life, not for a possible next, though I hope for God and an afterlife, and to see all friends, family and community again..I cannot know if God and the Afterlife exist with certainty. 

      I've never had a death hit me like it did that day at the memorial. It was week after she had died, and I arrived early and took the schedule for when she would be buried and when her funeral be, as well as the article in the UW Newspaper about her and sat on the couch to wait for more people to arrive. I looked at the schedule... the surrealness lessened and it really it him that she was gone. That was the first time I've cried in a long time. 

      The memorial was beautiful and powerful. A lot of my friends came, some who knew her, were related to her, or didn't know her at all...but came to support those who did.

     It was being there with my girlfriend and friends that really helped the beginning of moving forward to acceptance and seeing her life in all her wholeness. She lived, and had a profound effect on all of us. The reading that was used to represent her life was the Beatitudes, for they represented who she was very well:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  
 Blessed are those who mourn,
   for they will be comforted.  
Blessed are the meek,
   for they will inherit the earth.  
 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
   for they will be filled.  
Blessed are the merciful,
   for they will be shown mercy.  
 Blessed are the pure in heart,
   for they will see God.  
Blessed are the peacemakers,
   for they will be called children of God.  
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

        She truly did live all these things...

       The sermon was very evangelical in that it was calling everyone there to Christ as well, which I've come to expect from any Trinitarian Church, so it didn't feel completely out of place.This was also her Church speaking, and her Catholic faith meant so much to her.

     I talked to the Priest after, since he's a friend of mine and to my others friends who came that day. We reflected for a while and the conversations helped with accepting her death that day, as did the sermon.

     After talking to friends and the month since that day, I'm still allowing time to heal.

    The sadness has been like water against the land. Sometimes it simply laps the shores. Other times it's stronger and comes in more inland, and at one point I was even it by a tsunami of the grief.

     It's been strange. I've found myself both wanting to be alone and wanting to be with people contradictory more so since her death. I've wanted to reach out to talk about it, but found myself closing up. I think I may be at the place now where I can talk about it, about dealing with the grief of her loss and the joy of her friendship and life.

    She would want me to live, and us to live. It's something that in the grief I've sometimes forgotten.