Thursday, April 21, 2011

Holy Wednesday - Saint Joseph Catholic Church - Issaquah, WA - April 20th, 2011

       No music, just chants. This was my greeting when I entered Saint Joseph Catholic Church. I heard older women's voicing ringing out,

      "Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee; blessed art thee amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and to our death. Amen."

       This and a prayer for God's mercy was repeated again and again before the service started.

     The Priest announced that there would not be hymn books today because there were two girls from the school on the premise who would be singing. They sang beautifully! The music whether in Latin or English was haunting and ethereal.

    The sermon was about vocations. After the last supper scene had been read. Before I get onto the content of the sermon the Priest said something that it was good to hear, he actually felt compassion for Judas, since it was written an apostle would betray Jesus in the scriptures. He even saw Judas's turn around as powerful, but brought up how he never sought forgiveness for Jesus for his act because he committed suicide...if he had, he probably would have been forgiven.

     What is a vocation? As it has been explained to me, is that it's God's plan for a person on Earth via some sort of career or way of life. As far as I understand how it goes is like this - Jesus God, Jesus is the Way. Whatever God wants for the person is therefore the Way for them.

    How this ends up happening is a bit more confusing. I've heard experiences of the Holy Spirit ranging from hearing the voice of God, to noticing moments or images during prayer or in life. It's anything but clear, but the idea certainly gives direction, whether it is internal rationalization or an outside power like God, or both...I'm not sure.

      Then the issue of atonement that I brought up last post. The Eucharist is all about the atonement. It's offering Jesus as the sacrifice up to God again and again.Why is something bad needed (the murder of Jesus) needed for the resurrection and eternal life? Catholics have described it as the great mystery (and probably other Christian sects to) but there has to at least be theories behind why an evil act had to be done for a good act (eternal life). This is one thing I need to do more research on.

      Another factor is the guilt factor. Throughout most of the day people's prayers were asking for mercy for people, themselves and others and asking God and people close to God to advocate to God for mercy...

    What is the difference between responsibility and guilt? It's been my experience that responsibility allows us to move on, but not forget...guilt, at least my experience with it, is like a black hole that brings out all the negativity towards the self...which doesn't lead to right action. If a person is always feeling guilt, can they even accept forgiveness?

     In the prayers and the Eucharist Christ and the baptism in Christ as the forgiveness of sins was brought up a few times, but it seemed to have no bearing on the peoples' actions towards themselves.

     This is one reason I think for the uncomfortableness behind the Hail Mary's, and Lord Prayer's being repeated again and again...they were so focused on what had been done and needed to be forgiven, rather then the actions of right now and making it so that wouldn't have to be done in the first place. Also, weren't they forgiven by God already according to what had been said?

   Maybe it was to find focus and balance in "the Way" which in this case I'll call God. But, the words and the meaning behind the words seemed the wrong way to go about that. I'm thinking of Judas and what the priest said about him. All Judas had to do was take responsibility and ask Jesus for forgiveness for betraying him. The simple act of forgiveness allows for personal transformation and moving on. Judas was so caught up in his guilt though (guilt he never got past) that he ended his life. I just hope for the people there that the guilt lead to responsibility and right action...

    At the end the Priest was in white vestments and brought a incense burner as we all meditated with the Eucharist, which was in a Golden Cross, surrounded by 4 candles on the alter.

     I sat in the silence. Thinking about all of this and wondering about the story in the Gospels and the faith.

    

   








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