There seem to be 3 things that bring a family together (outside of reunions which tend to be special and rare events) birth, marriage and death. The event today showed just how much a part of people's lives my Grandma Claire was.
For the past few days since I heard about her death I've been keeping myself busy. She was a part of my life for so long and mattered so much, that expressing how much she means leaves me at a loss for words. Today I was able to find some of those words and accept her death the part of my life and others' lives who she was.
The viewing began and a few uncles, cousins and family members from my Grandma's generation were there, as well as her friends. Eventually more of the cousins arrived and I tried socializing and on that found that myself and everyone else were in different stages of grief and acceptance so it was more of a recognition and gratitude for someone being there than in deep conversation, those happened later with the cousins who I am closest too who I hadn't seen for a while.
In between that time I visited the open casket. After her body has been given dignity (when a person dies death doesn't grant much dignity in how it lets go), she looked as if she was asleep. I must have walked at least twice just to say hello, letting the fact that she dead sink in. That she wasn't asleep. In between those times I hugged and was there for family as they were there for me. That gave peace...
Next when I was with the cousins I grew up with around my age and who I hadn't seen for a while we talked events still going on in life, what are plans were and where we were going and in that also talking about Grandma.
It was after that I took time for myself just to think about her. When I was young and in elementary school my family would visit Grandma every Sunday. It was there we would hang out with her and also play SEGA in the basement, and Christmas meetups and bowling on Thanksgiving. Later memories were of Bear Lake and talking to Grandma at the beach and her Condo, I'm glad I made her a part of the short story inspired by that place, I plan to make it mostly in her honor.
Later after I left the Mormon Church it didn't effect our relationship. When I'd visit from Washington we'd talk about her and her childhood. I learned about her growing up in Europe after World War 2 and as I got older saw how big of a part she was of her community. She was the reason for all the big family events, she brought all of us together.
For me that was the prayer showed. My Uncle who was a bishop in the Church said the prayer and it did emphasize how important Grandma's belief in the Church was but also her legacy and her humility, kindness and humor even in the face of terminal cancer.
Tomorrow is the funeral, and more of my thoughts then about my Grandma and the event. For now, after the funeral I met up with the cousins around my age group and their wives, picked up my brother at the airport and connected, remembered, lived and found humor and joy. It was a beautiful end of the day to honoring a beautiful and amazing woman.
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