Holy Wednesday - Saint Joseph Catholic Church - Issaquah, WA - April 20th, 2011

       No music, just chants. This was my greeting when I entered Saint Joseph Catholic Church. I heard older women's voicing ringing out,

      "Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee; blessed art thee amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and to our death. Amen."

       This and a prayer for God's mercy was repeated again and again before the service started.

     The Priest announced that there would not be hymn books today because there were two girls from the school on the premise who would be singing. They sang beautifully! The music whether in Latin or English was haunting and ethereal.

    The sermon was about vocations. After the last supper scene had been read. Before I get onto the content of the sermon the Priest said something that it was good to hear, he actually felt compassion for Judas, since it was written an apostle would betray Jesus in the scriptures. He even saw Judas's turn around as powerful, but brought up how he never sought forgiveness for Jesus for his act because he committed suicide...if he had, he probably would have been forgiven.

     What is a vocation? As it has been explained to me, is that it's God's plan for a person on Earth via some sort of career or way of life. As far as I understand how it goes is like this - Jesus God, Jesus is the Way. Whatever God wants for the person is therefore the Way for them.

    How this ends up happening is a bit more confusing. I've heard experiences of the Holy Spirit ranging from hearing the voice of God, to noticing moments or images during prayer or in life. It's anything but clear, but the idea certainly gives direction, whether it is internal rationalization or an outside power like God, or both...I'm not sure.

      Then the issue of atonement that I brought up last post. The Eucharist is all about the atonement. It's offering Jesus as the sacrifice up to God again and again.Why is something bad needed (the murder of Jesus) needed for the resurrection and eternal life? Catholics have described it as the great mystery (and probably other Christian sects to) but there has to at least be theories behind why an evil act had to be done for a good act (eternal life). This is one thing I need to do more research on.

      Another factor is the guilt factor. Throughout most of the day people's prayers were asking for mercy for people, themselves and others and asking God and people close to God to advocate to God for mercy...

    What is the difference between responsibility and guilt? It's been my experience that responsibility allows us to move on, but not forget...guilt, at least my experience with it, is like a black hole that brings out all the negativity towards the self...which doesn't lead to right action. If a person is always feeling guilt, can they even accept forgiveness?

     In the prayers and the Eucharist Christ and the baptism in Christ as the forgiveness of sins was brought up a few times, but it seemed to have no bearing on the peoples' actions towards themselves.

     This is one reason I think for the uncomfortableness behind the Hail Mary's, and Lord Prayer's being repeated again and again...they were so focused on what had been done and needed to be forgiven, rather then the actions of right now and making it so that wouldn't have to be done in the first place. Also, weren't they forgiven by God already according to what had been said?

   Maybe it was to find focus and balance in "the Way" which in this case I'll call God. But, the words and the meaning behind the words seemed the wrong way to go about that. I'm thinking of Judas and what the priest said about him. All Judas had to do was take responsibility and ask Jesus for forgiveness for betraying him. The simple act of forgiveness allows for personal transformation and moving on. Judas was so caught up in his guilt though (guilt he never got past) that he ended his life. I just hope for the people there that the guilt lead to responsibility and right action...

    At the end the Priest was in white vestments and brought a incense burner as we all meditated with the Eucharist, which was in a Golden Cross, surrounded by 4 candles on the alter.

     I sat in the silence. Thinking about all of this and wondering about the story in the Gospels and the faith.

    

   

Palm Sunday - University of Washington Catholic Newman Center - April 17th 2011

      Yesterday was the first Palm Sunday service that I had ever attended. Suffice to say, it was powerful. The basic narrative that takes place is that the people celebrated when Jesus first arrived in Jerusalem with Palms. This is the reason that the congregation members are all given palms before service began. There is also the singing of "Hosannah" recreating the events in the story again.

    I went to the service with my girlfriend, and we sat with one of our friends who had planned visiting the Newman Center that day as well.

     The psalm sung was "LORD, why have you forsaken me?" Echoing the same psalm the writers of some of the Testaments had Jesus express on the cross. It was powerful, and it was around this time, I was left with that question...especially as the prayers were made for those who believe in eternal life with God, the Catholic Church, the believers who were sick, and those who had died.

    I found myself praying for everyone left out (or at least not named specifically). Those who are insane, those who have been hurt by the Church (in the universal sense of the word of any Christian Church) and understandably probably won't be worshiping Jesus, the suicide victims, the persecuted those without hope...that I hope a loving God, if one does exist, will bring those people to It, even without their personally expressing devotion to it.

    My girlfriend shared a sermon yesterday that echoed my prayer (and probably influenced it), I highly recommend you read it:

http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2011/04/17/a-sermon-for-passion-week

    The sermon was a reading of the Passion story in the Gospel of Matthew. The Priest played the role of Jesus, speakers played the role of Judas and the Pharisee, and the congregation played the people calling for Jesus's blood.

    The story shows the danger of the mob and how easy it is for people with power to disenfranchise those already without power...like the kids who were bullied to death. It reminds us to think, and to be aware. How quickly do we rush to judge others? What do happens to those who have been judged before their story is told? In some instances, they become a nameless statistic. Other times the community they needed then talks, other times...they're forgotten names on the streets.

    It ended with the Priest expressing how changeable the human heart is, and how he's grateful that Jesus paid for our sins with his work, rather then us paying for it with our work and action. His vestments were red, symbolic of the passion and blood sacrifice for God on the cross...

      One of the parts of Christianity that always made me see God as not wholly good was this idea of blood sacrifice. The basic deal of life being sacred (and therefore cherished) seemed contradictory towards the ending of life through sacrifice (usually young animals, or in the case of Jesus as the story goes, an innocent man). The reason given is that it was to fulfill prophecy. Prophecy is essentially God laying down what the future will be as He intended it...therefore it was in his power to give different prophecies and not have anun-virtuous act (murder) committed to appease him.

    This doesn't change the power of the story though. Suffering is an essential part of being human, and much of that suffering comes from what humans do to each other...from how we are not good to one another. Like the kid who was bullied to death and felt alone and isolated...how can we ease others suffering? How can we prevent persecution from happening in the first place? How can we act with goodness that Jesus acted with in many of the stories in the Testaments? How can we help others find peace in the struggle of existence? 

   This Holy Week and onward...I hope I can give some good answers to those questions. For now, I'll end the post with these questions.

 

   

Saint Martin's University Abbey - April 12th, 2011

     Today was an unexpectedly wonderful today. It began with me heading down to Saint Martin's University for the job the fair they had today with two of my friends I see as brothers. After I missed one of the buses, I stuck around and visited the Abbey with one of my friends who is a brother to me, and discussing religion and purpose.

   Saint Martin's University was originally founded by Benedictine Monks in 1895. Over time it became a school for young men, eventually a co-educational college and then a University. The College is named for Saint Marten of Tours who was a Roman Soldier who left (as far as the legend goes) after he had a vision that the beggar he had given his cloak to was Jesus Christ. He would later form Churches all over France and be made a Bishop.

     Saint Martin's University is a beautiful place. Even before my friend and I (another friend had headed back by this point) wandered around the University and made our way to the Abbey. Many of the buildings look like they are at least seventy years old and have the feel that I get when I'm in the Quad at the University of Washington...the architecture speaks of prestige and halls of learning. This is a bit beside the point, but these were details I noticed on the way to the Abbey.

    The Abbey is medium sized. It's entirely made of wood and has beautiful stain glass within. It's homely with a garden that the Monks tend, prayer books that belong to each monk, and the Chapel were there is enough seating to fit around one hundred students, and then a small area where the Eucharist is kept. It was over that I prayed...

    Peace. Peace is what I found as I prayed there (and what I've noticed usually find in most places of reverence to something greater then the self). I expressed anxieties and gratitude about the what is and the unknown of the future and found the peace of the now.

Chapel on the Ave - Seattle, WA - April 5th, 2011

     Chapel on the Ave is a building right on the main street near the University of Washington. The center is a ministry from Trinity Lutheran Church to the University of Washington campus and area around the Ave. Yesterday would be my second time visiting this place. The last time I visited was a few years ago when my girlfriend and I volunteered there.

    The people are very kind, most are post graduate like me, and overall pretty easy to talk too. I arrived when the shared meal was ending and talked about school and East Asia with them for a while (one of the folks had been to Korea). After, the service began.

   The music was mostly Taizé in honor of Lent and reflection. I never tire of these ecumenical hymns, that are so simple and beautiful in their sound and message. They are like Zen koans given music in some cases. It's in that place where the images flow and the words have their greatest effect as I think upon the different meanings their might be, or just being present with them.

     After song the Campus Minister did his sermon on the blind man who Jesus made able to see. This was the second time hearing this story and I'm guessing for the time around the Fourth Sunday of Lent all Churches who follow Lent are probably using this story. Lent really is following the Gospel of John and the lead-up to the death and Resurrection of Jesus. His Gospel is all about Jesus as Messiah dying for people's sins...at least that's the main interpretation I have heard of his Gospel.

     The Pastor took a different approach then the Deacon at Saint Benedict. He focused on where the blind man had to wash the mud off his eyes. The pool is the pool of Siloam, which in Hebrew means sent. The pool is not the final destination, it sends people forward. Which in the sermon the preacher said was to preach Jesus as Messiah.

     He then brought up to the eight of us there, how to help people who aren't Christian be Christian. Now compared to the Hellfire sermons of Mars Hill where you have a man throwing stones at glass houses not willing to look at his own mistakes or the mistakes of his faith...this group was quite different.

   "People get blinded by the evil some Christians have done throughout history."
   "People get blinded by the actions of Christians in the media who do not act like Christians (the Quran burner, Westbro, ect.)."

   Most of what was said was based in personal responsibility. Not, "We hold the only way and those who do not are condemned to Hell because they are not as blessed as us."

    Because of the peoples actions there in that conversation I felt at peace hearing that conversation. They were coming from a place of compassion.

   I don't know many people who convert out of fear. The only conversions that come out of fear are when those speaking in God's name are using force...be it the inquisition, blasphemy laws, or using secular laws for religious ends. A person being an example of what they believe their God to be and do in those situations is nothing more then tyrant. No wonder so many people leave the faith if they grow up with men like and that.

   This is one reason why Chapel on the Ave was so wonderful. There was the ministry of conversion, but it was truly there with the action of listening, responsibility and integrity...just like Saint Benedict Episcopal Church and some other amazing places I've visited since creating this blog.