The Northern Temple Pagoda (Beisi Ta) - Suzhou, China - March 31st, 2012

One of the first things I noticed about the Temples in Suzhou (and most of the things in Suzhou) is that many of the sites that people can visit are cheap or free. The North Temple Pagoda (Beisi Ta in Chinese) is one of the places that nearly anyone regardless of income would be able to visit, especially compared to the Temple prices in most of the big cities like Nanjing, Shanghai and Hangzhou.

At the gate were tourist busses (every major site has them) and people selling their wares, as well as some old beggars at the gate. To get there Randy and I had walked for nearly an hour from the Humble Administrator's Garden.

At the entrance of the Temple just past the gate is a giant fat laughing Buddha sitting down behind a large stone altar. The Buddha is made of stone and his face and form is such a joyful way to be greeted in such a place as this.

The Temple itself isn't all that large for being a tourist site, which really leaves so much of it's charm and holiness of the place. In the center of the grounds rises the 9 story Pagoda (was once 11). In the middle of the Pagoda is Guan Yin draped in a red cape. The darkness adds peacefulness to the place and the narrow passageway to her is like a baby's entrance to and from the womb. I did the three bows as the other folks who passed through were doing and noticed an old couple whose seemed the most present in the act of worship (compared to some of the younger folks and the few tour groups).

After that we climbed to the second floor before descending back down. It was good we didn't go farther up, the walls have no railings on the way down making it rather dangerous (combined with the small worn down steps). The Pagoda is ancient dating all the way back to the 3rd Century, and being rebuilt once more in 1582.

After exciting the Pagoda we entered the Temple grounds where incense was being burned by couples and individuals. It was here I bought some incense and burned it for my friend Hien who had died last year. Since her funeral I've been wanting to visit but have been unable to, so in China I've wanted to honor her here.

The Three Great Golden Buddhas rose up as I bowed three times towards them with the incense that was afire and then placed it upon the sand where the others stood. In China three is lucky number. Packs of incense are in three, every Temple usually has three figures at the back.

When I left my heart was full of remembrance and time felt as if it had slowed down as I left the grounds with Randy.

Ash Wednesday - Lentin Reflection - Saint Michael Parish - March 9th 2011

      This is my first time taking part in the 40 days of Lent. Lent it the Holiday celebrated by Catholics, Lutherans, Orthodox and Anglicans in honor of Jesus's fasting for 40 days. The 40 days of Lent are the lead-up to Easter Day and the resurrection. This is a time, when each moment should be done with awareness (if it wasn't before) and with the awareness of Christ in one's life. Ash symbolizes mortality. Ashes to Ashes, dust to dust...in the end it's what our bodies become.

     Ash Wednesday was the largest Catholic Service I've ever attended. Saint Michael is a big parish, and every pew was filled. One of the readings was about not parading virtue in the streets (like the Pharisees did of old apparently) (which having an ash cross on ones forward kind of contradicts). But I think what the cross serves as, is a reminder of the community supporting you in your Lentin fasts. When the Priest was blessing the ashes he accidentally called them "Holy Asses," before he corrected himself. So that was moment of humor in one of the most beautiful services I've attended. (The music was old Latin sometimes and their was so much passion in the singing that day). I received the ash cross on my forehead that mass and the old woman told me what she told all of us, to "Return to the Gospel," which to me meant returning to the virtue within the Gospel (not the vice and evil within the Gospel).

     As you know, I'm not a Christian. So why am I taking part in Lent? Because I am aware of the ways I fall short. There is something to be said for days that are deemed significant, like Christmas, Easter, Ramadan, The New Year, Ash Wednesday, Rosh Hashanah, and others. When there is community support in act, like with AA (alcoholics anonymous) or NA (Narcotics anonymous) a person's will grows, because it is part of the communities will. I don't really want to publicize everything I'm giving up on a blog (though if you ask I will tell) except for some obvious ones like coffee (and giving up meat on Fridays, I failed on that on Wednesday), as I plan to better live with compassion, courage, temperance and humility in my speech and actions. These are things I CAN get better at.

    I am so lucky for all the support I have. I have never worried about going hungry, lack of transportation, being homeless, being unable to afford an education, been mortally sick or an unhealthy body. This month and beyond this month I want to be better at helping those who aren't as fortunate as me. I'm graduating in a week and I need to responsible for more then just myself. Who ME is, is a part of everyone else, and who I am is a part of others too...  

    So to those practicing Lent, know you have my support, and if you want to do anything to serve the community with me, let me know. I'll be looking for opportunities to volunteer and get involved and to help others wherever I am.

Prince of Peace Catholic Newman Center (University of Washington - Seattle) October 3rd 2010

      What can I say about the University of Washington Catholic Newman Center? I have so many mixed memories there. I've volunteered in the 9pm Choir for 2 quarters. I've made friends with the community. I've heard sermons that have made me want to leave and others that went beyond Christianity in their content. I've made friends with some of the priests, experienced visions, and shared countless unforgettable moments with my girlfriend here. 

     Before I get into the bittersweetness of my visit this day, I need to state my biases upfront. Most of you already know how anti-hierarchy I am when it comes to God, especially when the hierarchy is unequal in leadership and completely male dominated. I could write an entire book on everything I disagree with the Catholic Church on (like I could with most Conservative or Orthodox faiths). For a very brief list though, the fact that women serve under priests, even if they've fully devoted themselves to God, homosexuality being seen as a sin, and irresponsibility in regards to stopping the spread of AIDS and STDs trouble me. These are part of the list for my own personal disagreements with the Church...which you will find mirror my disagreements with other religions as well.

    The things I like about Catholicism are the mystery and symbols. This is an essential in all religions and especially prevalent in Catholicism. This is expressed in the Eucharist, the Trinity and the ritual. This is part of religion in which I experience imagination and feel something. A fully intellectual faith becomes nothing more than a poor classroom experience. It's in the myths that the magic happens. The other essential part of religion is the people. The people are why it exists. I came to the service with my girlfriend and her cousin and had an amazing time with both of them just being present during the service. 
       The Priest's sermon was about the importance of doubt and how all that's needed is a mustard seed of faith in order to achieve great things. The reading was from the story in which Jesus says the same thing to his apostles when they ask him to make their faith stronger. I found this to be a good liturgy. People need to question and doubt in order to understand what they believe. It's in doubt that we come to know what is that matters to us and what we do have faith in. This was one of the better services I have heard in a while in my visits.

    After Mass I talked to a man; I don't have permission to use his name so I will call him "The Man." The man was a Church Apologist. He believed the Church had done nothing evil throughout history and that the leaders of the Church were greater than other human beings in their time periods. When I brought up basic history he talked about conspiracy theories against the Catholic Church, apparently standard World History is Anti-Catholic in his eyes. He wasn't willing to admit the Church's persecution of minority religious groups when it was in power.
    The discussion took another horrifying turn when I brought up persecution against Muslims in the United States. He brought up conspiracy theorists about Muslims wanting freedom to worship in America as a Trojan Horse to conquer the United States, since "Islam has always been spread by the sword."
    He's also a faith healer and exorcist. How he holds himself is with humility and kindness...he was an old man...but his words and beliefs towards even his other brothers under God (Muslims...I fear what The Man thinks about the Jews, well he thinks the Inquisition wasn't all that bad) was horrifying.

   What does this mean for the state of the world if we can't even admit the wrongs of the institutions we believe in? If we can't be honest about our mistakes and go about demonizing others and making them devils what does that do except destroy freedom of religion and tolerance towards faiths, atheists and agnostics?

    Today's visit was bittersweet. I experienced the best and worst of people in the Mass and discussion. The ideas of love are embraced while at the same time, when mixed with nationalism and fear becomes a monster that sees itself as pure, when in fact it is a weapon against love and compassion that exists in all faiths.

    After today I will be interviewing followers as well as leaders. A religion only exists because of the people. All of its people.