Before I get into the bittersweetness of my visit this day, I need to state my biases upfront. Most of you already know how anti-hierarchy I am when it comes to God, especially when the hierarchy is unequal in leadership and completely male dominated. I could write an entire book on everything I disagree with the Catholic Church on (like I could with most Conservative or Orthodox faiths). For a very brief list though, the fact that women serve under priests, even if they've fully devoted themselves to God, homosexuality being seen as a sin, and irresponsibility in regards to stopping the spread of AIDS and STDs trouble me. These are part of the list for my own personal disagreements with the Church...which you will find mirror my disagreements with other religions as well.
The things I like about Catholicism are the mystery and symbols. This is an essential in all religions and especially prevalent in Catholicism. This is expressed in the Eucharist, the Trinity and the ritual. This is part of religion in which I experience imagination and feel something. A fully intellectual faith becomes nothing more than a poor classroom experience. It's in the myths that the magic happens. The other essential part of religion is the people. The people are why it exists. I came to the service with my girlfriend and her cousin and had an amazing time with both of them just being present during the service.
The Priest's sermon was about the importance of doubt and how all that's needed is a mustard seed of faith in order to achieve great things. The reading was from the story in which Jesus says the same thing to his apostles when they ask him to make their faith stronger. I found this to be a good liturgy. People need to question and doubt in order to understand what they believe. It's in doubt that we come to know what is that matters to us and what we do have faith in. This was one of the better services I have heard in a while in my visits.
After Mass I talked to a man; I don't have permission to use his name so I will call him "The Man." The man was a Church Apologist. He believed the Church had done nothing evil throughout history and that the leaders of the Church were greater than other human beings in their time periods. When I brought up basic history he talked about conspiracy theories against the Catholic Church, apparently standard World History is Anti-Catholic in his eyes. He wasn't willing to admit the Church's persecution of minority religious groups when it was in power.
The discussion took another horrifying turn when I brought up persecution against Muslims in the United States. He brought up conspiracy theorists about Muslims wanting freedom to worship in America as a Trojan Horse to conquer the United States, since "Islam has always been spread by the sword."
He's also a faith healer and exorcist. How he holds himself is with humility and kindness...he was an old man...but his words and beliefs towards even his other brothers under God (Muslims...I fear what The Man thinks about the Jews, well he thinks the Inquisition wasn't all that bad) was horrifying.
What does this mean for
Today's visit was bittersweet. I experienced the best and worst of people in the Mass and discussion. The ideas of love are embraced while at the same time, when mixed with nationalism and fear becomes a monster that sees itself as pure, when in fact it is a weapon against love and compassion that exists in all faiths.
After today I will be interviewing followers as well as leaders. A religion only exists because of the people. All of its people.
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