Discussion with Father Raphael - August 8th, 2011

      Have you ever had an overdue thing you've wanted to do, but it's taken forever to come together? This discussion was one of those moments for me. For at least a year now, this is a discussion I've been meaning to have. Father Raphael is a friend and one of the priests at the Catholic Newman Center at the University of Washington. One of his majors is philosophy and when he did a forum against Referendum 71 against Civil Unions becoming legal in Washington I came ready to ask questions and to hopefully help him see how going against Referendum 71 was unjust (since Gay couples deserve the respect and dignity straight couples receive). That day I learned a lot about Catholicism and made a friend (though neither of us was able to convince the other that our position was correct).

   After that day we pretty much had a rain check to meet up to talk philosophy at some point in the future. This was a rain check that finally came together today.

     The discussion began with a prayer for illumination to find truth.

      It began with questions. When it comes to philosophy, asking questions is one of the few things I'm good at. Being a philosopher is something that I wouldn't call myself, because that takes a lot of work and I have not done all the work to be one. If anything, I'm simply a person with questions seeking answers and truth (and stories).

    I asked first about the crucifixion and the issue of an evil act being done, and how it could be good? From there what we found was it was the reaction and intent behind the one experiencing the evil act (forgiveness, dying for sins) which came around not because of the act but in answer to the act. This was a distinction that we tackled first. The conclusion which ended being, just that: "Good can come out of Evil, but not because of the Evil."

    We then discussed the New and Old Testament a bit. Old Testament Father versus Jesus (Genocide done by or in name of Father, and forgiveness and non-murderous nature of Jesus versus the Eternal Torment or Reward Jesus offered in the text versus the Old Testament not explicitly talking about Heaven or Hell).

   I brought up the question, "How can infinite reward or punishment exist for finite acts and life? 
He answered that because of God's infinite goodness, a sin against Him, though finite from our perspective, takes on an infinite quality from an absolute perspective, since it is a sin against an infinite being. 

    We then discussed how we got to where we are (in relationship to religion). Father Raphael was raised Christian, but didn't become Catholic till much later in his life. It was when he was in college he halfway submitted to God on possibly pursuing the Priesthood (after completed PHD would be open to it) and eventually how the seed grew until he accepted it, even though it had never been an idea before. (I had asked how do you know when God is talking versus the mind?)

    I asked because...I have tested prayer before, and I did have an experience that made me a Theist (Agnostic Theist in the end), so I was wondering if there was a better way. Since I would like to take each religion on the basis of their claims and test the claims (Both Paul and Buddha said to test something before putting belief in it).

    We talked a little bit about how all faiths have similar core values but differ in their Thesis's on what it means to be a member (which was an argument against relativism I thought - which there are many since that philosophy doesn't hold). 

    I told my faith journey about being born and raised Mormon till I was 11, and then raised Unitarian Universalist after that. The searching that is a such a huge part of UUism is something that I still carry with me to this day.

    We then talked about relationship (in regards to God) since his sermon the day before had referenced the darkness that many believers have felt (Saint Tereza of the Flower felt near the end of her life that if she went with her feelings she would be an atheist) and how God is looking for true friendship (people who stick through the darkness of separation - in romantic relationship - when the strong romantic feelings aren't there all the time or are hard to feel). It was a great conversation. I don't know any couple who has not been in that place of drought within romantic relationship, and I know both my girlfriend and I have felt it at times too.

   Eventually it went too what I believe now. Right now, I think there is a lot I'm figuring out. I do believe in living love and respect for all though (which is constant growth and long way to go), and continuing to seek truth.

     I mentioned that part of the test for me in regards to religion is if two of my mentors who are an amazing gay couple would be accepted...since I've seen the goodness their relationship is built on, and the good that has come out of it.

    Father Raphael brought up that that is coming from my own definition of virtue and good (Versus the Abrahamic faiths which are by Revelation (God speaking). We talked about on that (I think it was earlier) what Revelation means.

   "If humans are imperfect, how does Revelation work?"
"God makes certain word is recorded as he intends it."

   Father Raphael also brought up Priests who don't follow Church teachings (not following what the Bible says in regards to gays having to live celebate, or being full of hate as many Protestant groups act towards gays). He mentioned that gays who do try to do this are often isolated from within their own communities (which is true and not right, but I think the Church in regards to this has not been good to the gay community for those who do not want to believers and want to be treated with respect as those who are).

      A conversation for another day would be questions about the Catholic Church (of which I have a lot of) in regards to transparency and the past, as well as gender issues in relationship to men's and women's role and Church leadership, as well as church verse state issues, but those are a conversation for another day. It was a great conversation and I am lucky to have had it and the friendship that helped facilitate it. 

University Presbyterian Church - Seattle, WA - August 7th, 2011

     In my experience with looking for Churches and faith communities to visit, one thing I have noticed is among many of the Protestant Denominations...there don't tend to be that many church worship services. Most churches usually meet once for worship on Sunday and that's the extent of the community all together honoring God as a congregation. This has lead to me sadly missing a lot of churches. I haven't been good at waking up early at all, which means I'd only be able to catch evening services. This in turn has limited my visits to a few faith communities in the Seattle and Issaquah areas.

     I found out today that University Presbyterian has evening services though! This was nice considering the only other Church besides the Newman Center near the University of Washington, Generation Church, and the U-District Mars Hill...I was lacking in places to visit for the first time.

     The first thing I noticed about University Presbyterian was it's size. The outside architecture was like a Cathedral and this carried into the worship hall which had stained glass windows telling the story of the life of Jesus.

      The Church was alive and had more then just youth and old people (in the U-District most churches are either people 40 years old and plus (with 1 or 2 families) or full of people in their 20's and younger (Generation Church and Mars Hill). This Church had the happy medium between that age divide that makes up the U-District churches.

       The service itself was a mixture of christian rock for devotional (the music sounded Coldplayish and the female lead sounded like the lead singer from Pomplamoose). It was great and again I noticed the similarity between romantic verse religious music in relationship to love songs, a person letting go everything for the one they love.

      The sermon was good, it was general and could pretty much be tied to any sort of goal or journey in life, in which the journey matters as much as the destination...and that in the suffering of the journey happiness can be found. Psalm 126 was used as the example. During the service a woman talked about serving people in South Africa and service to AIDS victims in the organization she helped found that has been growing. Jesus was used as the inspiration in both in how the senior pastor posed his questions, "How has God through Jesus changed your life in unexpected ways?" as an example.

     I think we as people do get so lost trying to get the destination or goal that we can lose sight of everything learned upon the way. We can miss out on living and being whole right now, as we work towards growth and goals. This was actually something College taught me really well, and I have experienced it in other ways upon my journey and have seen it in other people's lives whether it's a faith journey or any other goal in life.

    After I was invited to a dinner that's thrown after every evening service and was treated to a delicious salad and pizza. The church certianly knows how to look after it's community, and after seeing the different organizations they're connected to saw how they were involved with helping the mentally ill, sick or homeless here in Washington.

     It was a rewarding experience, and I must say, I'm quite grateful for the evening church service of past days and today.

Contemplations and the Kingdom of Heaven - Saint Joseph's Catholic Church - Issaquah, WA - July 24th, 2011

         Today has been a fascinating exploration into the similarities between Buddhism and Christianity. Today was also an exploration into the mystic side of Christianity through the writings of Thomas Merton. I'll start the blog with my thoughts on his book, "Dialogues with the Silence," which is full of his journal entries, prayers and drawings.

      His drawings are very zen in their simplicity...this simplicity and emptiness from zen is a focus for Merton on the experiencing of God. He mentions that the moment we put an image of God in our mind we are committing idolatry, since God is there in the silence and the darkness. Some of his best thoughts though are outside of the book I read...which did have beautiful, simplistic drawings and prayers that gave a glimpse into the man...but some of his powerful quotes are in other writings.

     For example, "The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not twist them to our image. Otherwise we only love a reflection of ourselves we find in them."

and "The more you try to avoid suffering, you suffer, because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you. in proportion to your fear of being hurt. The one who does the most to avoid suffering, in the end, the one who suffers the most." 

     Even before he began studying Eastern thought he was already living that within the Christian tradition. The second quote especially is all about letting go of attachments and confronting our fears. Suffice to say, these themes of living virtuously, and releasing attachments are very strong in his writings and reflections.

       The themes that I found in the book would continue over to the service at Saint Joseph's Catholic Church visit I did today. The service was about how much a person should desire the "Kingdom of Heaven" also called "The Kingdom of God." In the parables that Jesus talked about at the service, Jesus mentioned two stories in which the person sells everything they have to have the treasure of the Kingdom of Heaven. The service was then about, "What would you give up to create the Kingdom?" Since part of the Kingdom is working with the community to create that world of virtue and life in the now.

     This mentality reminded me a bit of the Buddha and the fact that in seeking to end suffering, missionaries also came out of his religion to create the community of seeking to end suffering where each individual can live the Eight Fold Path of living with virtue and letting go attachments. Christianity and Jesus is also similar in this way in regards to the Kingdom of Heaven and being an apostle.

        I still have much to learn from both traditions and many other philosophies and other faith traditions as well. I guess in a way, this blog shall be a continued documentation of the journey in what I live and discover.  

Church of Christ - Issaquah, WA - July 17th, 2011

       After being away from faith communities for some time, it was great to see visit a faith again that captures what I believe are some of the best parts of religion, specifically Christianity. What are the things I found to be the themes of today's service: community, change and virtue (accountability to living virtuously as well).

    The Church of Christ in Issaquah is a small Church near the Issaquah Elementary School. The congregation is largely made up of families. I was treated with kindness and ran into two people who went to my high school, one of whom preached the sermon today. On a side note, these were the fourth and fifth persons I'd met from my high school that day. The congregation was close and this is where my first point comes in of community. During the announcements there was talk of the Home Meetings that happen every Sunday. All members of the congregation meet up at the designated houses to talk about the Bible and God. This reminded me of Mormon Home Teaching (where Elders (guys around eighteen or older) who come over and preach the church lesson of the day. This is also done by the parents for the children in the Mormon Church.

       The second thing that I see in religion at it's best in what it can is change. The change I'm referring to is personal change. In the sermon a personal was story told of going from selfishness to selflessness when God was accepted into their life. This was powerful as the person had been a major partier before hand and had found virtue through living for God.

     This in turn brings us to the sermon. The sermon was about Joseph. You know the prophet in the Bible with the twelve brothers who had an amazing technicolor dream coat (musical reference here). Well the story was about how Joseph stood on the path of rightesouness even after he'd been given the world (made leader of a house of noblemen (Potiphar) and he resisted the noblemen's wife and ran when she tried to seduce him when they were alone. She then claimed he tried to rape her and Joseph was throne into prison. The sermon focused on Joseph living with virtue when temptation was there and how the Devil and sin are like a lion who creep up on us and catch us off guard if we do not run from it and resist it. He used what Jesus said in that "If you sin with your eyes, poke them out. If you sin with your hand, chop it off. ect." It was a good sermon on life with virtue and how God can help with that.

      I've noticed with personal relationship to something seen as higher (Whatever interpretation of God, Guru, Buddha, ect.) That it can be an excellent tool transformation, growth and accountability. Whether any are actually as they are described...I do not know, and honestly would like too.

      As I write once more my exploration and journey continues as I explore the faiths and faith communities of this astonishing world.


   

Abide Baptist Church - June 26th, 2011 - Issaquah, WA

     This is my first faith visit since my friend's funeral and burial...and in it I experienced the best and worst of what religion can bring. Abide Baptist Church is a tiny church near the freeway entrance. It's been around a year less then I've been in Issaquah and follows the Baptist tradition of respect of choice (to believe or not to believe) and separation of Church and State (state cannot enforce on faiths and in theory vise versa). Both of which I think are admirable ideals of the faith.

      The best I experienced was the sense of community with strangers and the reflective nature of the service. It reminded me a little of a Mormon service in that their were hymns but no Christian Rock or Choir music...it was the pastor's wife and the piano with hymns that I've heard play in movies that take place in the south. While I was there it felt like the people I love where there with me, and I felt peace.

     The worst I experienced was prejudice towards people (males specifically) who go outside their supposed masculine roles. The first was the pastor talking about how his school's swim team had become sissy and given people breaks which he never got...and the other was when I talked to his Dad who was ashamed to drive a light colored car during the day when he was driving across the United States.

    The other part was the Theory of Evolution and theology. I understand now why they must have felt threatened...if the Bible is the literal Word of God then Genesis is a fact not a metaphorical story...then the Big Bang, evolution and other theories that contradict these "facts" must be wrong. The pastor it's "Just a theory," disregarding what in science that actually means. Theories only exist due to ample evidence and empirically tested claims. In evolution a large part of this is in the fossil record and our own genetic code in which we can trace our ancestry.

   The misunderstanding science was completed with the "Atheist Checklist," which was a tract that the pastor's father gave to me. The tract is written by Ray Comfort who argues that because a banana is color coded for when it's ripe, spoiled or developing, and can be held in the human hand that clearly it was designed by God. It is like a Coco-Cola can created by humans Ray implies. What he misses though is that bananas were domesticated and evolved to be the way they are by humans. Wild bananas look nothing like the ones Comfort describes. Just to touch on the problems with his hypothesis.That's why they are shaped the way are and edible. The checklist was insulting to science. It ended also with the Ten Commandments and a call to Jesus showing that again, it was apologist work for religion, not science.

    The sermon was about when Jesus told his apostles that he would die and rise again on the third day. The pastor talked about how Jesus made things easy for us, just to accept him into our lives, but we like things difficult. He used the example people who chose not to buy a mix where you just add water, but bought the cooking mix when it required water and an egg. He also brought up faith verse works and that the Bible says it's faith alone but the surveys he said showed most denominations thought good works would get one into heaven. This is an issue for another post the faith verse works ideal in regards to virtue, but I will eventually get to it. Since it deals with the claims of a lot of faiths and human nature.
     
      The service ended with a song we all sang together called "Lean on Jesus" and a final call to Jesus for someone to repent and confess along with the final prayer.

     I'm planning on talking to the pastor about these things at some point. For to bash someone because they are a masculine female or a feminine male isn't virtuous, loving or just, and though Christianity is built on faith, in it's best form, it's about treating others with respect, dignity and love.

     It's good to be visiting faith communities again...and meeting the people who believers of the different faiths and sects within the faiths. It's in these visits and conversations I think come to know God, humanity and myself better in the constant path of learning and growth. 

Memorial of a Friend - Catholic Newman Center Prince of Peace Chapel - Seattle, WA - June 1st, 2011

      Friends and community. Some of you have probably been wondering why I haven't been updating the blog at all. The reason I haven't is because I've been dealing with the death of a friend who was like a sister to me. It's strange really, while there at her memorial, funeral and burial I did feel that connection to her and something more...at times after that, I've wanted to visit churches and keep up the blog, but then I find I can't go.

        Many times it's because I visit communities where I don't know anybody...I'm a stranger. I don't want to bring my vulnerability to strangers, to put it simply. Another reason is I think, is the issue of God and the afterlife for me. At the core, I think I am quite agnostic, I believe in living in the moment and now and in this life, not for a possible next, though I hope for God and an afterlife, and to see all friends, family and community again..I cannot know if God and the Afterlife exist with certainty. 

      I've never had a death hit me like it did that day at the memorial. It was week after she had died, and I arrived early and took the schedule for when she would be buried and when her funeral be, as well as the article in the UW Newspaper about her and sat on the couch to wait for more people to arrive. I looked at the schedule... the surrealness lessened and it really it him that she was gone. That was the first time I've cried in a long time. 

      The memorial was beautiful and powerful. A lot of my friends came, some who knew her, were related to her, or didn't know her at all...but came to support those who did.

     It was being there with my girlfriend and friends that really helped the beginning of moving forward to acceptance and seeing her life in all her wholeness. She lived, and had a profound effect on all of us. The reading that was used to represent her life was the Beatitudes, for they represented who she was very well:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  
 Blessed are those who mourn,
   for they will be comforted.  
Blessed are the meek,
   for they will inherit the earth.  
 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
   for they will be filled.  
Blessed are the merciful,
   for they will be shown mercy.  
 Blessed are the pure in heart,
   for they will see God.  
Blessed are the peacemakers,
   for they will be called children of God.  
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

        She truly did live all these things...

       The sermon was very evangelical in that it was calling everyone there to Christ as well, which I've come to expect from any Trinitarian Church, so it didn't feel completely out of place.This was also her Church speaking, and her Catholic faith meant so much to her.

     I talked to the Priest after, since he's a friend of mine and to my others friends who came that day. We reflected for a while and the conversations helped with accepting her death that day, as did the sermon.

     After talking to friends and the month since that day, I'm still allowing time to heal.

    The sadness has been like water against the land. Sometimes it simply laps the shores. Other times it's stronger and comes in more inland, and at one point I was even it by a tsunami of the grief.

     It's been strange. I've found myself both wanting to be alone and wanting to be with people contradictory more so since her death. I've wanted to reach out to talk about it, but found myself closing up. I think I may be at the place now where I can talk about it, about dealing with the grief of her loss and the joy of her friendship and life.

    She would want me to live, and us to live. It's something that in the grief I've sometimes forgotten.